1. He couldn't have a job dressed like that
2. Window shopping with your mom
3. The pretty girl wore a magnolia bloom like an extraterrestrial shield
4. Someone cleaning their Lexus spokes was murdered Tuesday
5. You'll pop an eye out with those rockhard nipples, baby
6. Free beer tomorrow? What kind of asshole puts that on their body?
7. The mail-ladies' shape-ups: grime, canines, and guile
8. The baggy dress shirt
9. A Southwest ticket away from your sweetheart
10. Your mall, your life
11. Gay people in denial
12. Artisan worries
13. Pulpits with Peter
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