reins

in the soft sand
my feet are sea-lapped
like a puddle-dog

hark the Herald sports page
I hear something behind me
it is a beach horse
sniffing the sand like a fag

the incinerator boat out there doesn't care
about the chop
it has a load to deliver and it isn't stopping

I've portioned the vodka so that I don't get too drunk
for the wedding I see down the beach
the wedding I'm now about to crash

I'm already wearing a khaki suit because I felt like it
A family is wearing identical outfits and taking a knee
for a family photo from Darcy the nosestudded
I pass them like whatever

the wedding has a lot of shy people wearing pinstriped vests
so I act shy
I think they're yankees
someone is playing that Godzilla song
too loud from a condo

the officiant is a butch lady from Toronto
I know she's from Toronto because she
said "back home in Toronto we don't have this (gestures at the beach)"
wait I know her - Kris; she was the sous chef at Marty's
on Biloxi; She hasn't been "back home" in 10 years
I owe her $16
I slump down on the provided beach pillow
at the reception near the road she says "hey I remember you"
"yeah hey"
"how do you know Rand and Jess?"
"from back in the day"
"oh cool" she knows
"yeah well anyway it's good to see you"
"yeah for sure man see you around" she knows
I eat the rest of the sliders on my plate
and walk down the highway where everyone is unloading their Pilots
for the blissful sunset

the beach horse trailer is very rusty
I wonder if they give the horses tetanus shots
wow that's rusty

one of the horses has run away and is now running towards the reception,
dragging its reins in the sand
this is unbelievable

it's running really fast
toward the wedding
this beachmare is going to crash the party way worse than me
haha

the horse covered its huge face with the grooms cake
and flipped one of the tables
wow

Kris is acting like she knows how to control the horse with sounds
she's pretending to be Robert Redford
and everyone is letting her get near the horse
just because she officiated the wedding and is in a position of situational authority
that's not how that works

the horse rears up like the Ferrari logo
and at that moment a man in a Ferrari stops on the road
30 feet from the reception
and makes an honest-to-god horse call
and the horse shimmies its head and stares at the man
"heeyaw! Baby come!"
and Baby goes

and everyone claps

none of my roommates are going to believe me
just like they don't believe that I go to Marty's on Biloxi every day to work